When plans fall around you

Woah. What a week.

First was the unexpected email last Wednesday: “Um, we forgot all about you and we only have two slots left until February. Can we come on Friday? Or on Monday?”

Why, of course. “It’s not like I had anything else planned.”

I plumped for Monday. The weekend was entirely lost in reviewing legislation, generating compliance reports, and banging my head against the wall of colleague indifference. As a bonus, the IT guy phoned on Thursday to arrange a Saturday crash of all systems…

Monday was… alright. New auditor. Got to break them in gently and, as they have no idea what it is you do, they get easily distracted. Mainly by tea, and carefully sculpted open questions about their life, career, hopes and aspirations. (Careful though. By the third visit, they’ll clock what is happening, and go all Dementor on your ass…)

Cloistered in the meeting room we were having a jolly good time, interrupted only by the occasional far off scream, the odd thud at the foot of the stairs, and a most disconcerting dragging sound. If we’d been less focussed, we might have thought to pop our head out the door to investigate which body was being hastily stashed in the broom cupboard but somebody else was sure to have things under control.

Should have known…

Roll up this morning, with the Monday (pre-auditor email) to-do list clasped firmly in sweaty hand, “There’s a couple of things…” Yes? Cut a long story short: the day was spent with the unexpected joys of exporting five units, importing seventeen, preparing three shipments without any idea which boat they’d be loaded on or whether said boats would get to the consignee on time.

Much of the afternoon was spent sobbing gently in the arms of the shipping agent who was desperately trying to keep up with the veritable forest of paperwork flying in his direction (not helped by the software deciding, inexplicably, to forget how to add up the columns of pounds, shillings, kilos and pence).

Maybe the Monday and Tuesday to-do lists can be discretely placed in the circular file? Or should today be treated as Monday? But that would make Friday Sunday, and I need it to be Saturday already…

Step back. Breathe…

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